Look at me.

       

     On the inside there are things about me that no one needs to know. The darkness the cold bitter thought that disturb even myself. 

      Damn it! Look at me, what do you see? what do you feel? Is it sorrowful to see what you created? You pretend not to notice the heartache I feel. You run and hide to protect yourself. You ignore my calls for help and the pain I express. Are you regretful or grateful? Do you feel relief? Was a burden lifted off your shoulders as I walked out that door. 

        Please tell me.....are you at least happy? Do you miss me?

     The struggles I face now are wicked. They drag me down into the depths of hell and leave me there. It is dark. It is a darkness that I have never experienced before. It is a darkness you can hear. You can feel it as it tries to suffocate you with its slinky black limbs. It chains you to the place where you stand and cripples you to the ground. You're left staring aimlessly into nothing. You're alone.

       What I see when I look at you is bitterness. The way your mouth runs my name. The way your eyes dart from mine as we pass in the hall. You're a coward. 

      You act as if you'll rescue me from this dreary chamber but the ladder disappears among the charcoal air and the rope never quite reaches the cold hard ground. Was this planned or did it just so happen to work out in your favor?
       I will never know what you think or how you feel. So here is where ill stay alone in solitude.